What is there left to hold on to
by soreta
Summary: Twoshot, songfic. Booth's death breaks Temperance more than most anyone saw coming. Set around the time of Booth's funeral in Pain in the Heart.
1. Good Enough

**Disclaimer: I don't own Evanescence or Bones.**

His arms wrapped around her in a hug. It was just a dream, he murmured to her, letting her cry. Her tears spilled onto his shirt, soaking it. He didn't mind and instead pulled her closer to him.

_Under your spell again.  
I can't say no to you.  
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.  
I can't say no to you._

He died, she thought as the tears continued to fall. I can't lose him; he is everything to me. He murmered more words of comfort and love and she replied back in between sobs, but slowly they began to stop. He lifted her chin and began kissing off her tears.

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.  
Now I can't let go of this dream.  
I can't breathe but I feel...  
__Good enough,  
I feel good enough for you._

When his lips finally reach hers, she takes all he gives her. His warmth, his love, his comfort. All of it.

_Drink up sweet decadence.  
I can't say no to you,  
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.  
I can't say no to you.  
__Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.  
Now I can't let go of this dream.  
Can't believe that I feel...  
__Good enough,  
I feel good enough.  
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good._

Temperance's eyes flared open, her pillow almost soaked from the tears she spilled over the night. Angela sat beside her, tears in her eyes as well.

"Sweetie, it's time."

Temperance shook her head, tears falling harder. "I can't. I just can't go."

"Tempe, please. I need you there. I can't go alone."

"You will have Hodgins, Zach, and Cam there. I can't and won't go, Ange. I'm sorry."

Angela began to realize that there was no way she would be able to get her to go to Booth's funeral. Not even if she dragged her friend out of bed and out the door.

"I'll stay with you then."

She continued to shake her head. "No, you should go. I just can't."

Angela sighed and hugged her best friend tightly, "Give me a call if you need anything or want to talk, okay?"

Temperance nodded and with a last, sad, worried look, Angela was gone. She got up and went out on her balcony, waiting for the night to come. She looked up at the sky and frowned when she noticed it was sunny as can possibly be.

_And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.  
Pour real life down on me.  
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.  
Am I good enough for you to love me too?  
__So take care what you ask of me,  
'cause I can't say no._

Booth had managed to break down most of Temperance's walls, and now what little of them were left, went crumbling deep into the ground. She knew her world would never be the same ever again.


	2. Your Star

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.**

Angela stood next to her friends at Booth's funeral. As Brennan wouldn't come, she resolved to crying on Hodgins's shoulder throughout much of the service. It was beautiful. It really was. She thought back to her best friend, who was still at her apartment. It was so depressin. As Caroline's speech began to close, Angela decided to leave, and go to the Jeffersonian to get some work for her and Brennan to do as she kept her friend company. Though when she came out of her office an hour later, she was completely shocked.

Booth was there, on the platform, laughing with Hodgins about something like crying ex-girlfriends not being there. Angela managed to get over her shock as Booth spotted her.

"Angela, where's Bones?"

Her face hardened. Booth had been a friend, to all of them, even Zach, and now he fakes his death and hurts many of them, but Brennan was hurt the worst and his now up there laughing like nothing was wrong. She rushed up the steps and slaps him, much to the rest of the team's shock.

"You sonovabitch! Do you have any idea what Brennan has been through these past few weeks, all thanks to you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked confused. "She was one of the ones that were supposed to know I was alive!"

"Well she didn't know," Angela growled. "She's a mess, Booth, all thanks to you. I've been picking up the pieces like any other good friend would." She shoved the stack of files into his arms. "Now it's your turn. Give these to her at her apartment. If she kills you, good riddance."

As Angela stormed off, everyone stared in stunned silence. She normally kept her cool when she was angry or upset, so this scared everyone. Suddenly, a thought struck Booth. Without a second's hesitation, he ran off towards his car and drove to the FBI building.

* * *

"Sweets!" Booth's voice boomed across the room. The psychologist froze in terror. He knew this was about the list of people Booth wanted to know that he was alive. Sweets didn't tell Dr. Brennan because he thought she would be able to rationalize his death, but if Booth was this angry, was he terribly wrong?

Suddenly, he found himself pressed against the wall with Booth's face inches in front of him. "Why wasn't she told?"

Sweets told him, but that didn't help soothe Booth's anger. Booth started pulling him towards the entrance and back to his car.

"Where are we going, Agent Booth?"

"You are going to get to see the damage you caused by not telling her."

The rest of the ride was quiet. As they drove to Brennan's apartment, it began to grow dark. When they arrived they hurried up the steps and knocked on the door. However, minutes past, and they didn't hear anything. Then they heard a soft voice singing. A voice Booth recognized as Brennan's.

_I can't see your star.  
I can't see your star.  
Though I patiently waited, bedside, for the death of today.  
I can't see your star.  
The mechanical lights of Lisbon frightened it away._

He tried the door and sighed when it was unlocked. He came in with Sweets in tow. He noticed an empty wine bottle on the coffee table and then another empty one on a kitchen table. Brennan was sitting, curled up on a chair on the balcony, blanket surrounding her, singing the first song that came to her mind.

_And I'm alone now,  
Me and all I stood for.  
We're wandering now.  
All in parts and pieces, swim lonely, find your own way out._

The two men approached the door leading to the balcony and were startled by what they saw. If it wasn't for the fact her face was streaked with tears, Booth would have thought it was an adorable sight. He glanced at Sweets and he knew that the guy was definitely regretting not telling Brennan.

_I can't see your star.  
I can't see your star.  
How can the darkness feel so wrong?_

She heard a slight noise but ignored it. It was probably just Angela, she thought to herself as she continued singing. She thought about what happened a few weeks ago and beyond. Ever since she met Booth, she had slowly begun to change in a better way. However, she almost wished she could go back to the way she was before she met him. Instead, she relies on Angela for so much since his death. Angela always said she loved Booth, and that he loved her back, and she was beginning to see that until she got the horrible news that Booth was dead. Because of her feelings for him, she was sitting here, unable to do much of anything.

_So far away.  
It's growing colder without your love.  
Why can't you feel me calling your name?  
Can't break the silence,  
It's breaking me.  
__All my fears turn to rage._

"Bones," Booth whispered.

She closed her eyes, and refused to believe that she heard him. 'It's just a figment of your imagination, Brennan. He's dead, remember?'

Booth saw her eyes close and began to walk closer. He called her her real name, hoping that it would get her attention.

She spun around and looked at him, her feelings going from confusion, to disbelief, to sadness. "God, I'm dreaming again."

He knelt in front of her, and said gently, "You're not dreaming. I'm really here."

"That's what you always say," she cried. "You say I was just dreaming about your death and then I wake up and you're dead again."

Booth looked back at Sweets begging for help. He sighed and said, "Dr. Brennan, I must assure you that you are awake. The emotional trama from Agent Booth's supposed death has made your mind not want to believe he was dead, hence the dreams. Booth's death was faked, and you were supposed to know that he was alive, but I decided to keep it from you because it was a national security crisis. I thought you could rationalize his death, but it appears I was wrong."

She eyed Sweets warily but turned back to Booth fairly quickly. "If you're not a dream, then where is Angela? She should have been back from your funeral by now."

Booth smiled sheepishly, "She went to the lab after the funeral to get some work for you and her to do and she saw me on her way out and chewed me out for leaving you like I did."

She sighed. "I guess I can see why you faked your death. I just wish I knew," she whispered softly, tears coming to her eyes.

Booth pulled her into a hug and assured her, "I guarrentee you, next time I die, I will let you know immediately if I'm still alive, no matter what!"

As she relaxed into his hug, she noticed Sweets had left. "Can you make me a promise?"

Three years ago, he would have laughed if someone told him that she could be like this, but now he probably would be twice as shocked if she had rationalized his death and gotten over it. He replied, "Of course!"

"Promise me that when I wake up, you'll still be here."

He pulled back slighly and looked into her eyes, "I wouldn't even consider leaving."

She smiled and within seconds she was fast asleep. Booth picked her up and gently laid her on her bed, and silently crawled in next to her and went to sleep.

* * *

A familiar scent surrounded Temperance, and opening her eyes she saw Booth next to her, softly snoring. She smiled for the first time in over two weeks and moved closer to him, relaxing as she finally believed that she was no longer dreaming. Booth was alive, and would never leave her again.


End file.
